Have you ever worked a job made miserable by the so-called office “mean girl?” Being harassed or given the silent treatment at work by one or more people seems like a universal experience for those who have participated in the workforce.

The workplace “mean girl” isn’t always a woman. For me, it’s usually associated with one or more individuals bent on getting you into trouble at work or generally making you feel bad for a magnitude of things. For this reason, I prefer to use the term “workplace bully” instead of “mean girl.”

One could ask why the workplace bully feels the need to make an already draining job more disheartening instead of co-existing in peace. Honestly, I won’t be able to give you an answer.

The workplace bully takes many shapes, they can take the form of a 40-year-old man named Steve in accounting who has a wife and kids to a 25-year-old co-worker named Carly in retail who’s power hungry and searching for her next victim.

Now those are just a few random examples of scenarios I’ve encountered in the past. They don’t always use the same power tactics to isolate their victims, but in my experience, the tactic that is universal among these workplace bullies is their innate talent to play the victim and gossip.

Usually, these individuals will start their tactics of harassment by using gossip to their advantage. Saying off-putting comments to others in the workplace makes their co-workers extremely uncomfortable or spinning a web of lies into their gossip to seem like victims.

These workplaces often make you feel like you’ve been transported back to high school or been put into the movie Heathers and are being attacked by a group of popular mean girls whom you just want to escape from.

An article from WorkLife titled “why are we still talking about ‘mean girls’ at work?” goes in depth on why these so-called office workplace bullies feel the need to make everyone uncomfortable at work.

According to WorkLife, “other instances of incivility, or so-called office ‘mean girl’ behaviour, might entail excluding someone they are threatened by from social events or group messages, not acknowledging their wins while always pointing out mistakes or taking other measures to subtly knock a co-worker down.”

In my experience with workplace harassment and bullying, it’s often an individual who is driven by a deep-seated fear of jealousy, their inadequacy with their life or they overall haven’t escaped or grown up past their high school mindset and are trying to re-enact it within the office.

These workplace troublemakers often rely on the use of fear to silence the individuals whom they are picking up at work, often overreaching their station to try to enforce unwarranted discipline to make you feel bad or using a form of tattling to try to get you in trouble for the exact same things they do.

No matter how kind you are to these workplace bullies, it often does not matter. Stefanie Marrone, a client development director at a law firm, explains her experience working with the so-called workplace bully. “I tried to be nicer, I tried to be kinder, I tried to go the extra mile, and nothing worked because they didn’t want it to work. You think you can kill somebody with kindness, but you really can’t if they have a mark on your back,” she said
to WorkLife.

The office trickster often uses fearmongering to isolate and promote anxiety within the workplace, so much so that you feel no one will support you.

In my experience, if someone is bullying you in the workplace, it is most likely happening to others, or others are feeling uncomfortable with their behaviour. The “others” will back you up when everyone inevitably realizes that this person is horrible and something needs to happen to change the toxic environment they have created.

I would say to anyone dealing with a workplace bully, do not be afraid to speak up. Most likely, it isn’t happening to you alone. It’s probably happening to another person as well. I know speaking up won’t always fix the issue, as your workplace bully could be your boss, but please remember that this isn’t your issue for being picked on, it’s an issue within the person who is harassing you.

I hope everyone who reads this article feels some solace within the unfortunate blight that is workplace harassment and finds some comfort in the knowledge that you are not the only one facing this at work.