Going Deep with Jodie Layne

Sexy subscriptions and mindful sex

Let me tell you about subscription boxes. To most an exciting new concept, subscription boxes are basically modernized versions of those CD of the Month or your mom’s Wine of the Month clubs. Only now, the market has reached maximum saturation and there is a subscription box for everything: dog treats, beauty samples, vegan goodies, workout clothes, and—you guessed it—sex toys.

I love getting mail and I always have; there is something great about a nice little parcel or colourful postcard amidst the bills and coupons. I also—surprise, surprise—love sex and geek out over new products. It’s a true testament as to how the Internet can cause niche markets to completely take off and sustain themselves. If there’s something you want to buy, it’s not that hard to find someone who can sell it to you.

I explored my options before settling on one in particular. There are options for just women, queer-friendly ones, lingerie subscription services, Toy of the Month Clubs, couples packs, or experiential-themed boxes. I decided on a service called the Fantasy Box, which sends a couples-focused box that supposedly provides a guided and themed experience to couples for $30. Disclaimer: it’s hetero and cisnormative. It asks for “her size” and “his size” during the registration process – however, bonus points for carrying plus sizes!

The box arrived in discrete packaging, a plain white mailer with the customs form stating simply, “Women’s Items.” I’m pretty sure my mailman thinks I ordered $30 worth of tampons.

I opened it to reveal a black gift box, which had taken a bit of a beating on its way to me, but was cute nonetheless. I opened it to reveal a surprisingly sexy and not at all tacky negligee by a pretty premium brand that I buy from frequently and was probably worth close to the value of the box alone. The box also contained a small high-quality bullet vibrator (with a 15-year warranty), a Sliquid lube sample, and a blindfold.

The goods came with four cards marked his, hers, leader, and follower. The goal is to create an experience that takes an entire evening and creates dialogue between partners and utilizes all of the items in the box.

The his and hers envelopes contain questionnaires about things you’re interested in sexually or different things you’d be willing to try, and suggest you talk about it over a romantic dinner. You then choose someone to be the leader or the follower and there are guided directions to a gentle power play sexual experience.

Yes, it’s a cool thing to have and I think the Fantasy Box executed the concept perfectly and raised the bar for other companies that just send sex toys. Getting something like this monthly is a great way to try new things and treat yourself on a regular basis – for those of us in relationships or even if we’re pleasuring ourselves. Signing up for a service like this takes the pressure off of us to do this on our own. I think that pretty much all of us can be more mindful about switching it up sexually or even just expressing our sexuality.

Life gets busy, we get cranky and tired, and there are other things that require our attention. It can be easy for one to six months to pass while we chug along with routine sex, fantasy, or masturbation lives, or slow them down altogether.

While $30 a month isn’t always practical, creating a monthly prompt or reminder on our phones or in our day-timers to remind us to try out something new is. Browse sex tips on the Internet, watch or read some new erotic material, try a new position, get a new toy or lube, or switch up locations and experiences. Even the busiest life deserves half a day devoted to pleasure each month.

You can confidentially submit a question or topic to jodie.m.w.layne@gmail.com.