The Academy Awards Awards!


Amy’s Picks

Most hilarious acceptant speech:

It is so easy to love and to hate Meryl Streep. The Academy has nominated her for an Oscar more than any other actor in history. Every year, this beautiful woman sits in the front row, poised and classy. And for all her nominations, Streep had only ever won twice — until Sunday evening. When the Oscar went to her, Streep’s acceptance speech was funny, clever, and intimate. “When they called my name, I had this feeling I could hear half of America going, ‘Oh, no! Oh come on, why her? Again!’”  As is always the case with Streep, she did not disappoint.

Most delightful presenter:

I have a mad crush on Emma Stone. It simply cannot be helped or denied. So it may be with bias that I select her as — easily — the best, most adorable, most delightful presenter.

The best fist pump moment:

A tie! Christopher Plummer is now 82 years old, now the oldest Oscar winner ever.

The Artist’s Jean Dujardin also became the first Frenchman to win the award for Best Actor — mindless exuberance!

The most persuasive tears:

Octavia Spencer was announced as the winner for best actress in a supporting role. She barely managed two sentences before her voice broke, and tears of joy started to pool in her eyes. “I’m freakin’ out!” she said.

The most stunningly beautiful couple:

Brad Pitt has surrounded himself with beautiful people. Angelina Jolie looked unbelievable in a sexy black dress, and Brad’s other companion George Clooney was as handsome as ever.

The most ballsy moment:

Did Sacha Baron Cohen really show up on the red carpet dressed as a dictator to promote his new movie, with an urn of Kim Jong Il’s ashes?  Yes. Yes he did.

Most underrated disappointment:

Billy Crystal was depressingly unspectacular, but he did step in after the original choice Eddie Murphy backed out of the job. And he has done the job nine times now. How much more could we really ask for?

Most surprisingly funny moment, and best Cameo:

Justin Bieber can be funny? I am not one to hate on Canadian talent, but Justin Bieber has never been a favorite of mine. But as Crystal started up the awards ceremony, Bieber makes a brief appearance, saying, “I’m here to give you the 18-24 demographic.”  Hilarious.

Most Convincing Erotic Moment:

At 7:30 on Sunday evening, the Oscars were just getting under way with the opening film featurette. Flash to George Clooney — perhaps the most tall-dark-and-handsome man alive — bending over Billy Crystal’s bedside. Clooney leans in and gives Crystal a big fat kiss on the lips.

People who were missed the most:

The Best Animated Film category was pretty weak this year. No disrespect to Rango, but when Pixar is absent from this category, the cumulative quality seems to take a major hit. Cars 2 was eligible for nomination, but was — quite rightly — passed over. Hopefully Pixar will be back next year, with more of the quality we are used to.

Most deserved clean sweep:

Hugo was a fine film, but The Artist was absolutely deserving of all of the praise and recognition that it received on Sunday evening. The Artist is one of those films that appears to be overly artsy (silent and in black and white?  Really?), but is really more beautiful than anyone could have ever anticipated.


Ryan’s Picks

The Okay Just Get it Over With, Yes This is Really Happening Award:

Billy Crystal opens the show with a parody song to the tune of “That’s Amore”

The Sure to Make You Feel Too Young Regardless of Age Award:

Billy Crystal opens the show with a parody song to the tune of “That’s Amore”

The Oh, Brother Award:

Billy Crystal opens the show with a parody song to the tune of “That’s Amore”

The Critics Be Damned Award:

Billy Crystal opens the show with a parody song to the tune of “That’s Amore”

The Taking Away Time From Real Musical Acts, Oh Wait, Those Were All Cut From the Show Entirely? Award:

Billy Crystal opens the show with a parody song to the tune of “That’s Amore”

The Most Likely to Haunt Viewers’ Dreams Forever Award:

Billy Crystal dressed as Tin Tin

The “Are You Drunk?” Award:

Cameron Diaz presenting with Jennifer Lopez – “You take a chance, people”

The Best Way to Celebrate the Medium of Music Award:

Gigantic video screen shaped like a book of music composition, a visual spectacle

The Please Let This Moment Last Forever Award:

Flight of the Conchords star Bret McKenzie accepts Best Original Song award from presenters Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis

The Best Evidence for Genetically Superior Human Beings Award:

Meryll Streep wining her third Oscar for acting – 17 nominations and counting

The Surprisingly Fantastic Moment Award:

The Wizard of Oz focus group sketch, featuring Christopher Guest, Fred Willard, Catherine O’Hara, Eugene Levy and Jennifer Coolidge

The Best Drinking Game Moment Award:

Rose Byrne and Melissa McCarthy chugging mini bottles of Grey Goose on stage when someone from the crowd yelled “Scorsese!” Apparently an all night drinking game invented by the cast of Bridesmaids