YOU STINK AND I’M GETTING SICK

It just happened again. My attempt at being a good and successful student is being thwarted by the guy who took the cubicle across from me. The stink is killing me..

I can handle that he threw his bag down on the desk-top without regard for the noise it makes. I can handle the crunching of papers and plastic bags that echo’s within the cubicles as he riffles through his pack to get his books. I can even handle the annoying buzz of his cell phone buzzing from another text message (though, just barely). But what I can’t handle is the smell….

Maybe he misread the label on the AXE deodorant spray that he has thoroughly doused himself in. Maybe he came strait from hockey practice and didn’t have time to shower. Maybe he just likes to smell like big can of alcohol based chemicals. Maybe he just stinks and covers it up with more stink…

Certainly he couldn’t know that I have asthma. He wouldn’t know what its like to have your chest squeezed inward, your breathing shortened, your throat getting dry and your head starting to ache. He doesn’t seem to notice that I’ve sneezed six times and coughed a half dozen since he sat down.

But for me, this asshole has just ruined my study time and made me feel sick! School isn’t a night club and your cheap manly-man perfume won’t get you laid here. Please for the sake of all of us with allergies, asthma, and watery eyes don’t bathe yourself in that crap and come to school. Even if you don’t care about us, you really do stink just the same anyways.

Kipp Fennell
U of M Graduate Student