I love being single. I think there’s a lot of misconception that if you aren’t in a relationship, you aren’t happy. I, for one, can attest that I’m happier out of a relationship than in one. 

Happiness should not always be contingent on a partner. Sometimes, happiness should come from being okay with yourself, rather than from outside validation that may often mean less, especially in the long run. 

Every time I go out with friends or see family, I am, without a doubt, always asked the same dreaded question, “Are you seeing anybody?” I expect it every time. But, my answer is always No! I am always met with varying reactions, sometimes astonishment, most times pity, because of the noticed lack of interest in pursuing a romantic relationship.

I think a lot of personal identity is defined by whether one is in a relationship or not, with happiness being associated with having a spouse or partner, the white picket fence or having a child or two.

Now, in my early twenties, I find myself not wanting that white picket fence or kids. I thought I wanted the full family shebang in my late teens and that I had it all figured out. Now looking back, I realize we never truly have everything fully figured out.

Because happiness is often tied to being “coupled up,” I notice people are constantly seeking out new connections and never desiring to be or remain alone. This deprives them from understanding the source, in my opinion, of true happiness. Sustained happiness doesn’t come from relationships. It is first from within — from self-love, then friends, hobbies and maybe career.

There’s something intimate in being alone, in knowing yourself, in being comfortable in your skin — that quiet calm that comes only from being content with who you. 

As a society, we put a lot of pressure on women to be mothers, sisters, partners, caregivers, chefs and cleaners. Assigning these roles to girls at young ages does not allow them the chance to experience a life that is free from responsibility and the caretaking of everyone but themselves. 

I can only speak for myself, but I do think more and more women are realizing that they would much rather be alone than have to constantly cater to societal expectations of what the perfect woman should act like and hope for. The reality is that the idea of perfection is overrated in the face of authenticity. 

Decentring the idea that relationships are the key to happiness is essential for the realization that one may not always need to be with someone to be happy. Perhaps, just sitting with yourself can be a form of fulfillment and contentment in itself.