If you think you may have spotted a performative male, my first piece of advice to be sure is to look for a tote
bag, an iced matcha or listen to hear him say, “Have you ever heard about this underground indie artist called
Clairo?”
The term “performative male” became popular due to TikTok’s influence. This term was meant to mock men
who “perform” in a way that is meant to appeal to women.
The word “perform” is key to the performative male aesthetic. He always appears to be more progressive and
well-read than he actually is. This form of man, in my opinion, is more toxic than the outwardly rude man, as
the performative man is tapping into a form of manipulation that both preys on and takes advantage of women.
The performative male has other tools in the arsenal of his curated aesthetic. He has a vast collection of vinyl
records, with the focal point of his collection being Lana Del Rey, and he will often be carrying a book, which is
most likely The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath.
This archetype is a pretty new aesthetic which has inspired “performative male contests” in many different
cities around the globe, both criticizing and mocking this particular toxic flavour of man.
I have had a few run-ins with men sporting the performative male aesthetic. In my experience, they are always
the ones lurking in the corner of a party with a Labubu strapped to their tote bag, talking a little too loudly about
how “The Bell Jar was just so intrinsically deep.” I once asked a performative man if he knew what the word
“intrinsically” meant, and he gave me a look as though I had just told him Thom Bargen had freshly run out of
matcha.
Half of the time, the performative man has no clue what he’s talking about, with this presentation being nothing
deeper than a performed aesthetic.
Despite my only meeting a performative man in person a few times, I’m finding that they’re popping up more
and more around me on the U of M campus, with a mysterious tampon in hand whenever you seem to need
one and a smile that seems too forced to be real.
My experience with the performative men has always been negative. They always feel like imposters who don’t
actually care about women’s rights. They’re just trying to align themselves with women in an attempt to seem
like a “good guy” so they can get a date.
Tony Wang, the founder of the consulting and trend forecasting company Office of Applied Strategy, described
the performative male aesthetic as unsurprising. “It is also not surprising that some men are already leaning in
on the joke and deliberately inviting, rather than dodging, accusations of performativity.”
To all the men who are truly aligned with supporting women’s rights and occasionally enjoy a matcha latte, I
apologize that the internet seems to be tearing you apart at the moment. The performative male, despite all the
jokes and TikTok videos making fun of them, taps into a very toxic form of masculinity that undermines women
in a manipulative way. My advice to you, if you ever see a performative male on the U of M campus, would be
to run the other way.