There’s a stillness that comes before a goodbye. A moment suspended in time, where nothing has ended yet, but everything is about to. I never know how to handle a goodbye with grace, I’m often caught up in the unknown path set out before me.
No matter the kind of goodbye, it’s guaranteed to be difficult for one reason or another. A breakup, quitting a job, graduating from university — goodbyes don’t necessarily come easily. Yet, embracing a goodbye and transition is an important and inevitable part of personal growth.
When we say goodbye, we know there will be an inevitable change, a change that often brings discomfort. The status quo is comfortable — it’s predictable, and willingly putting ourselves into the unknown and choosing discomfort is no easy task. In these situations, we are not just saying goodbye to a partner or a job, we’re saying goodbye to a version of ourselves. To move forward and accept the need for change, we must grieve the loss of our previous selves and shift our identity to embrace the next phase, the unknown.
Then why say goodbye at all? If it causes discomfort, identity crisis and often pain, why take the leap?
There’s an unspoken promise tucked inside every ending. Saying goodbye forces us to reckon with the fact that we are constantly evolving. We are not static creatures, bound to one identity or a single version of a story. Letting go becomes a portal to something new — not just out there in the world but within our very selves. Saying goodbye is the breeding ground for growth.
Sometimes, we can’t wait to say goodbye to something. We’re racing to the finish line and can only reflect on how far we’ve come and everything we’ve learned once we’ve passed it. Sometimes, we wish we could’ve spent more time savouring the moment or that we could go back and do things differently.
This was my experience graduating university, it wasn’t until I handed in that last assignment that I realized how much the chaos of university had quietly held me together. It wasn’t until it was over that I understood how it served me throughout my 20s. However, it also provided me with the tools I needed to move on to the next step.
The same can be said for relationships. Breakups are a difficult beast on their own, sometimes they’re forced upon us, and sometimes we see and accept them as an inevitable result of a relationship that can’t go any further and initiate the break. However, each breakup brings a valuable lesson that can help us better understand ourselves and our future partners.
This is why we sacrifice things for growth, it brings us wisdom from past experiences. We don’t leave everything behind when we say goodbye. We carry pieces with us — memories, lessons, little echoes of who we were. The past doesn’t vanish, it settles within us and becomes part of how we present ourselves in the world from then forward. Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting. It means honouring what was and being brave enough to embrace what is yet to come.
Goodbyes are rarely clean or comfortable, but they are necessary. They make us fuller in ways we could never have previously imagined and remind us that growth often begins where certainty ends. Even in the pain of goodbye, there is a silent beauty — a reminder that we are changing, learning and always evolving. To say goodbye is to say yes to what comes next.
