It’s that time again — the New Year. A fresh calendar, new beginnings and a chance to set lofty goals for the months ahead. It is also the perfect moment for a bit of reflection. Did you crush last year’s goals? Or, like me, did you promise yourself the world and then fall off the wagon before February hit?

This annual tradition of setting resolutions — essentially promises to ourselves — has a long history. But let’s be honest, why are they so hard to keep? 

Let’s start with some history because, believe it or not, New Year’s resolutions are not a modern invention.

The concept of New Year’s resolutions is older than you might think. In fact, it dates back nearly 4,000 years to the ancient Babylonians, who marked the new year not in January, but in mid-March, tied to their planting season. 

Their 12-day religious festival, Akitu, involved crowning new kings, reaffirming loyalty to rulers and promising their gods to repay debts or return borrowed items. Keeping these promises wasn’t just about integrity — it was believed to secure divine favour for the year ahead.

The Romans picked up the tradition under Julius Caesar, who established Jan. 1 as the start of the new year in 46 BCE. They dedicated the month to Janus, the two-faced god of beginnings, endings and transitions — a fitting symbol for reflection and resolutions.

Fast forward to the 18th century, when John Wesley, founder of Methodism, introduced Covenant Renewal Services. These gatherings focused on prayer, reflection and self-improvement, offering a spiritual alternative to boisterous New Year’s revelry. While these roots are steeped in religion, modern resolutions have become more secular and focused on personal growth — often tied to fitness, finances or productivity.

Here’s the kicker, despite thousands of years of tradition, we’re still terrible at sticking to our resolutions. According to Baylor College of Medicine, 88 per cent of people abandon their goals before January is over. The second Friday of the month has even been nicknamed “Quitter’s Day” by Fortune, as it’s when most people throw in the towel.

Why the struggle? 

Psychotherapist Jonathan Alpert, in his book Be Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 Days, chalks it up to three main reasons: lack of specificity, negative framing and misaligned goals. Vague resolutions like “exercise more” or “lose weight” are hard to track. Instead, setting clear, measurable goals — like running a specific race or losing 10 pounds by a set date — can make a world of difference.

Also, negative framing such as, “stop wasting money” or “quit junk food,” tends to backfire too. Positive reframing — “save $50 weekly” or “snack on healthy foods” — is far more motivating. Lastly, goals that aren’t aligned with personal values or circumstances (hello, trendy diets!) are doomed from the start. Authenticity is always key.

If you’ve ever felt discouraged by how easily your New Year’s resolutions slip away, you’re not alone — and it’s not entirely your fault. The way we set goals influences the brain’s motivation system, and that can either help us or hinder us in our quest for change.

According to a Forbes article, when we focus on approach-oriented goals, like “eat more fresh fruits and vegetables” or “exercise three times a week,” it engages the brain’s reward system. This is the part of your brain that releases dopamine — the chemical tied to pleasure and motivation. The beauty of approach-oriented goals is that even small victories feel rewarding, keeping you motivated to push forward. It is like that little rush of joy when you eat a delicious salad or hit your step count goal. Your brain is cheering you on, and you get a boost of motivation to continue.

On the other hand, avoidance-oriented goals — such as “stop procrastinating” or “quit smoking” — can activate the brain’s stress response. This involves the amygdala, the part of your brain that deals with processing emotions and fear. When you focus on avoiding something, it creates pressure, leading to negative feelings like guilt and frustration. These emotions can actually drain your motivation, making it harder to keep going.

In short, how you frame your goals matters. Approach goals create positive feelings that make it easier to stick with your resolutions. Avoidance goals, on the other hand, can trigger a range of negative emotions, making you feel like you’re always running from something.

So, where does that leave me? 

Reflecting on my own history with resolutions, I can confirm I’ve fallen into every one of those traps. I have set vague, overly ambitious goals and quickly abandoned them. I have tried resolutions that sounded good but weren’t rooted in what I truly wanted. And let’s be real, sometimes life just gets in the way.

Maybe the answer isn’t about sticking to some rigid, ancient tradition but finding a way to make resolutions meaningful. What if, instead of chasing an arbitrary goal like losing 10 pounds, we tied our resolutions to something deeper — something that genuinely resonates with our values and aspirations?

This year, I’m taking a different approach. I’m ditching the long list of goals and focusing on one or two meaningful intentions. No grand proclamations, no buzzwords, just small, actionable steps that feel authentic.

For instance, instead of resolving to “stop procrastinating” or “work harder,” I’m focusing on setting aside 30 minutes a day for something creative, like writing or learning a new skill. It’s a goal that’s specific, achievable and tied to something that excites me. 

And if it doesn’t work? Well, at least I’ll have learned something — and I’ll meet you back here next year with another attempt to figure it all out. After all, isn’t that what resolutions are really about?