Life is difficult, it is for most people, but I have always struggled to stay positive and I am seldom content. Yet, when I sit next to Tyler, my long-term boyfriend, I find peace in abundance. Life is far from perfect, and I still have my daily trials, but having someone to share that with makes everything easier.
Before I met Tyler, I took myself pretty seriously. People who know me find that hard to believe. The world often felt oppressive or lonely and I readily accepted that. Even though my friends and family were important to me, I had a quiet sense of pride in my frequent solitude.
This began to change in earnest when I messaged Tyler in an intro to French Zoom call of all places. From the moment I met him, there was an infectious positivity and wonder that began to conquer my deviously rotten black heart. Of course, this transition from doom to gloom was an ongoing process that I fought with for a while. My openness to making new connections enabled Tyler to come into my life.
While our first date was pretty typical for Winnipeg. We had a light lunch followed by an hour of wandering around the Forks. Our second date is where my sense of humour and his joyousness started to come through. We saw one of the worst movies I have ever seen, Space Jam: A New Legacy, but I hadn’t had that much fun in months.
If I had seen that movie on my own or with anyone but Tyler, I would have loathed it. His presence in the theatre made a soulless sequel absurdly enjoyable. We started dating in the summer of 2021, so as of now, we have been together just under three years.
Three years feels like a long time, but those years have flown by. It is hard to imagine a time when Tyler wasn’t a part of my life. In the time that we’ve known each other, we have shared so much of our lives.
Even sharing video games and movies from my childhood with Tyler, I have the same sense of wonder I did when I was eight. We played the absurdly convoluted Kingdom Hearts series together and he listened attentively while I explained the metaphysical concept of darkness and Donald Duck shot flames at little monsters. On the other hand, Tyler showed me the entirety of the Twilight movie series, something I never would have imagined enjoying, but with him it was beautiful cinema.
I fell in love with Tyler, and he helped me fall in love with life all over again. I have always had moments of joy and I still work personally on keeping a positive mindset, but Tyler makes it much easier. Being able to share my victories makes my victories worthwhile. Having someone to share my failures with makes those failures easier to bear.
Of course, I still have my ups and downs, when it comes to any relationship you have to be careful not to become codependent. A critical part of having a partner is knowing the line between co-operation and codependence. It wouldn’t be fair to Tyler or my long-term health if I offloaded every little problem I have and couldn’t find joy without him being around.
Honestly, it is hard to imagine life without him. The time we have spent together has been the best part of my life. I don’t know if Tyler and I will still be together a decade from now, but I wouldn’t trade the time we’ve had for the world. Having a person to share my life with is one of the greatest gifts I could ask for.
A mundane trip to the store is something I cherish, as it is more time to spend with the most important person in my life. Adventure becomes a daily occurrence if the person next to you helps instill a sense of joy and wonder.
While I am talking about a romantic relationship, the friendship we share is critical to our bond. Tyler is my best friend, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Keep an open mind and allow people into your life, casual conversation could turn into something more beautiful than you could ever imagine.
