I must begin with an apology
For my utmost and true sincerity.
My mind is at the mercy of my pen,
(A weakness for the strongest of [wo]men.)
It speaks the truth, and to it I must yield,
Indeed, la vérité will be my shield.
Given this, and without further ado,
My mind’s burdens I shall present to you.

I am writing thee an advisory
‘Gainst a disguis’d friend (a true enemy).
He has been depleting your sustenance
And blaming you for lowered finances.
He claims that changes are necessary,
Though his motives are simply mercenary.
Indeed, your friend (who goes by Dr. B——)
Cries for pity, then dances to the bank.

In fact, he has gone so far as to fabricate a deficit. He tells you sweet nothings to cushion the hit. When all is said and done, he cares only for himself – putting your needs on the highest shelf (out of sight, out of mind; to your desires, he is blind). And yet his loves only he defends, for on certain faculties his job depends. To cut THEIR funding would be considered offensive. As such, when he weaves tales with his silver tongue, we must be…apprehensive.

What would the world be sans humanities?
Empty of culture, inevitably.
Not to mention the social sciences,
Who must join our budding alliances.
Without us (for my allegiance lies with you),
Academia would have been brought to
A halt. Around you, the world is structured;
This significance must be recaptured.

To start, dear Arts, you have Philosophy
Who has refined the way the world we see.
Further, Economics lies in your midst:
By others his efforts have been eclipsed.
Everything is at stake: from Linguistics
To Criminology; même the Classics.
Arts, all of your children must see that they
Are doomed, unless they act without delay.

English, Film, and Theatre are up next.
Without them, we would not have this text.
Without them, entertainments would
Be scarce indeed. No movies to deem good
Or bad, no books to carry you away;
No meanings to find, nor players to play.
‘Tis the same with French, German, and Spanish:
B——‘s plan to hurt you seems quite outlandish.

You know, for someone who claims to love poetry, Dr. B——‘s soul seems to be empty. How can one have respect for the creation, but pay its maker no attention? If our funding is axed and our classes cancelled, more than Academia will be shaken and rattled.

These struggles will your students inherit,
Just because he does not know your merit.
Speak to your students, O Psychology –
Bid them to join us and change History.
Those who remain unmentioned are no less
Vital. All are needed to escape this mess.
Together, we can defend our virtue;
United we stand, to see the fight through.
History, you must examine the past:
Show us how to end the reign of an a—.