Orgasms are awesome: Part 1

The Big O, cumming, climaxing, busting a nut, jizzing – there are about a million slang terms for having an orgasm. We see it in movies, or in porn, and see it splashed on the cover of a certain women’s magazine. Orgasms are, clinically, an involuntary spasming of muscles and release of chemicals in one’s body. They can also take on a lot more baggage culturally – who is and isn’t having them, by what means people are having them, who they are or aren’t having them with?

Let’s get this out of the way first of all – orgasms are not the goal of sex. You can experience so much physical pleasure without actually orgasming, you can have great sex without cumming, and your partner can be a competent and skilled lover even if you don’t orgasm.

According to the Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada, 10 per cent of women and 8 per cent  of men are anorgasmic – meaning they can’t experience orgasm. Anorgasmia can also affect transgender people after hormone therapy or gender reassignment surgery. This doesn’t mean that sexual activities aren’t pleasurable and they can’t have fulfilling sexual relationships and experiences. Sex should be about causing each other’s bodies as much pleasure as possible and having fun exploring your bodies – orgasms are just a bonus and not a trophy you get for playing.

Orgasms can feel amazing physically, but their benefits go far past a few seconds of good feelings. Endorphins and oxytocin released during sex allow you to better deal with stressful situations and having orgasms three times a week can add four years to your life. Sleep hormones are released when you orgasm – a sexologist once joked that his cure for insomnia was to “have one orgasm and call me in the morning.”

Cumming can also prevent colds! People have sex show higher levels of immunoglobulin antibodies, making you less susceptible to colds. The best part is that these benefits whether you having sex with other people or masturbating. So, go get laid or rub one out for your pleasure and health.

One of the chemicals released during orgasm is oxytocin, or the “bonding” hormone. This is the same hormone released by breastfeeding mothers and can cause you to feel intimacy or emotional attachment if you are having sex with a partner. This is one of the reasons why orgasms in a relationship can help build intimacy. Being able to be fully present, safe, and feeling uninhibited are also all feelings conducive to having an orgasm.

So now that you know why orgasms are amazing, how can you have one? What does it feel like? Read the column next week to find out, but in the meantime why not practice and see if you can figure it out?

You can confidentially submit a question or topic to jodie.m.w.layne@gmail.com.