Ask Kara

Hi there,

I’m in a situation where half my friends travel by public transportation and half my friends have their own cars. I have my own car and I like to be courteous so I always offer my friends without cars a ride home after we hang out.

I can’t picture myself as someone who doesn’t offer a ride when I can but sometimes it’s just darn inconvenient. Should I feel okay letting my friends bus home at times or is offering rides just the price you pay as a friendly car owner?

Signed, anonymous (23)

Hello my dear,

I can definitely sympathize: it’s tough when your good intentions get in the way of your own happiness. Perhaps we can use this metaphor for something a bit bigger?

Helping people is always a top priority on my list, but you have to consider how well you can help others if you haven’t helped yourself first. Self-care is something that a lot of people over look. If helping someone else throws you off the route to your happiness, re-consider its worth.

Advice more specific to this situation would be: wait for someone to ask for a ride rather than offering it, or ask for some gas money. Or even . . . save yourself some money and start taking the bus yourself!

Much love,

Kara P.

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