Movember, A Mo-emoir.

Haven’t been without a beard in more than a decade.

My face is furious for thrusting it into this cold bright world unprepared.The wife has cancelled our date for later this month, stating that she only wants to be seen with an attractive person.

This is not the start I was hoping for.

My moustache is finally starting to come in. Thank crap.

Now I have three or four days of looking like that kid from Grade 7 before I can show my face in public.

Full commitment yesterday. I went to a wedding with my new ‘stache. Complements were lacking, but once I told people why I looked like a stereotypical ‘70s biker their disgust morphed into slightly-less disgust.

Today I’m hoping to go to the country to be a bit of a redneck — helping a friend sight-in his rifle. Finally, somewhere where my bold upper-lip will be accepted and celebrated non-ironically.

I still catch my reflection and lament the loss of my beard. It’s so easy to forget that as a beardo I stood out, and as one of the clean shaven I now blend in.

Well, almost.

The moustache has become a part of me. It is no longer weird or strange.

My resolve is buoyed by F1 hotshot Jenson Button and his ‘stache.

Someone commented the other day that my moustache had finally crossed the threshold from perv to dad.

I was shocked. I thought I crossed that line weeks ago.

I never realized how much I enjoy shaving until this month.

It’s a rather satisfying process. I’m even impressed with the scum in the sink, and how easily it washes down the drain.

In the home stretch now.

If I’m perfectly honest, I’m a little disappointed by my mo. It’s only in the past day or so that I’ve been able to do anything great with it (curling the tips).

There is a temptation to keep on growing it, but I I’ve got a stronger temptation to grow the beard back, so I continue to live in my house.

This will be my last entry, considering the paper gets printed today (Nov. 29).

What have I learned over the course of this adventure?

Well, first of all, I still look nearly prepubescent without a beard; I have been getting ID’d everywhere, and I’m really, really old (I have two kids for Christ’s sake).

Second, that ‘staches aren’t so bad. They can be kinda cool if done right (I’m lookin’ at you Tom Selleck, keep trying John Waters).

Thirdly, I really miss my beard. My round head appreciated the lengthening it gave me.

Would I do it again? For sure, but I think I would join the vast majority of people I’ve seen and cheat something fierce (by not starting clean shaven). Mo ‘s can be fun, but when it takes you 28 days to grow a decent one, Movember is just too short.