Top 10 ways to ruin your summer

  1. Wear socks
    Yes, socks will ruin your summer. In order to truly appreciate summer, your feet must touch the grass and you must feel sand between your toes. Invest in a pair of flip-flops to usher in summer. If you wear socks, you miss out on the opportunity to truly embrace this season.

  2. Ignore the rules of a fling
    Let’s face it, summer flings are one of the hottest aspects of summer. But if you don’t follow the rules, a fling could wreck your summer. A summer fling must not exceed two months. Avoid the impulse to drag your fling into another season. You will regret it.

  3. Turn on the air conditioning
    We spend close to six month of every year in snow and freezing temperatures. Turn off the air conditioner and enjoy the heat while it’s here. The cold weather will be back soon enough.

  4. Don’t go to any fests
    Winnipeg has a festival for everything it seems. There’s Folk Fest, Fringe Fest, Jazz Fest and numerous other small-time fests. They are a guaranteed good time. Devastate your summer by not attending any of them.

  5. Stay in Winnipeg
    There are so many amazing places to see outside of the city limits. If you do not leave Winnipeg this summer it can’t really be considered much of a summer at all.

  6. Study in the library
    If you have to take summer classes, the worst thing you can do is study in the library. Take your books outside. Go to a patio or sit on an inviting patch of grass. Just find a place to study in the sun.

  7. Swim in Lake Winnipeg
    This lake’s health is looking bleaker and bleaker. Swim at one of Lake Winnipeg’s beautiful beaches and there’s no telling what maladies you will get. Whatever you happens to you, it will annihilate your summer.

  8. Drive everywhere
    In the summer, two wheels are better than one. Take a bike, get some exercise and enjoy the fresh air and car exhaust. If you insist on taking a car everywhere, you will destroy your summer and the environment.

  9. Watch TV
    It’s summer, get outside! Relegate TV to rainy days only. Not only will TV obliterate your prospects for summer fun, it will obliterate your soul as well.

  10. Avoid barbecuing
    Whether you eat meat or not, everything tastes better on the BBQ. From grilled salad to charred steak, you will disappoint your taste buds and demolish your summer by not barbecuing.

1 Comment on "Top 10 ways to ruin your summer"

  1. For the record, the hype surrounding Winnipeg’s selection of festivals makes me irrationally angry, and attending any one of them would be my version of a portal to hell. I’ll disobey that rule.

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