Michael Jordan, I am legitimately worried about you.
Early this year it was made public that Jordan has been participating in practices with the Charlotte Bobcats. Now, Jordan is the majority owner of the Bobcats so there’s nothing strange about him spending time around the team. It is atypical, however, for an owner to don himself in a team uniform and actually play ball with the athletes. Gretzky did it once, but he was a coach, i.e., he was supposed to be on the ice. I think Roman emperor Commodus fancied himself a gladiator once, competing on the grand stage of the gladiatorial battle grounds, but he was, well, crazy.
Which leads me to what it is I’m worried about: the possibility that Jordan might be a tad crazier than your average human being.
Let’s examine some facts.
This past year Jordan starred in another run of his infamous Hanes commercials, in which the basketball star is pestered by an adjacent passenger travelling on the same plane. It’s a little difficult to notice at first, but in each of these latest commercials, MJ is sporting a fully groomed toothbrush moustache, otherwise known as a Hitler moustache. Another curiosity of these commercials is that, in all of them, Jordan barely speaks, in some cases simply doesn’t speak at all. This means Hanes paid the best basketball player who ever lived to sit and look around while other people acted around him. Slightly odd behaviour.
Now, returning to the issue of a man playing professional ball in his late forties, Michael was quoted at his 2009 Hall of Fame induction ceremony as saying:
“One day you might look up and see me playing the game at 50. Don’t laugh. Never say never, because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion.”
Like any typical Hall of Fame style speech, Jordan thanked his family, thanked various teammates, reminisced about his time on the top of the basketball world and, finally, he implied that he could return to the game at any time he wants, even at the ripe age of 50.
Jordan also displayed his more competitive — some might say petty — side during his induction speech. Absolutely, Jordan made sure to take care of the pleasantries in his speech, but he also made more than one bewildering decision while up at the podium. The six-time NBA champion took time to address the players from the 1985 All-Star who froze him out, neglecting to pass to the future hall-of-famer. Jordan also personally flew out his North Carolina high-school teammate who made the varsity cut before him, one of many points the man of honour had made as if to say, “See? You were all wrong and the time has come for you to pay!”
Evidently, those familiar with the behind-the-scenes world of the NBA aren’t surprised by any of these aforementioned actions, either. Instances like these are often chalked up to Michael being Michael. He’s a bit off kilter, a little weird but what are you going to do about it? He’s the greatest basketball player, some say the best pure athlete, who’s ever lived.
As a fan, I just hope that His Airness inherits the kind of grace and humility that often comes with old age. At 50 years old, even the most competitive person in the world will have trouble looking sane playing what is decidedly a young man’s game.
