Dr Know

I would like to start off with at least a slight introduction to the dimension that we will discuss today. We’ve had lessons of several, but none except for the first two could possibly have been understood on any level by fidgety morons such as yourselves. And we all know just how simple it is to confuse you, stupid human being; any failure to progress in glaringly identifiable patterns can quite easily lead your miniscule worldviews to come crashing down around those fleshy, protruding ears of yours. Since I have long forgotten which was our latest dimension, I shall make something up to comfort you.

It reminds me, I could say whatever I want in these lessons and, for all you know, I’m completely right. You don’t know anything. You are a worthless simian. You’re a waste. I could say we’re doing the 50th dimension today, or I could say there are no more dimensions left to discuss at all, which would be a pretty hilarious joke for myself, although, you must understand, you could never understand its nuances. Never mind.

And now that reminds me once more that you humans will never understand just how dimensions work period.

But none of that matters now. Some of the more astute readers out there may have noticed that I gave no lesson last week. Some of the even more astute readers will notice that this lesson is a little bit shorter than other lessons. And the most astute readers will notice that I’m not talking about dimensions very much at all anymore. I would explain, but I have other plans tonight, and I must be running along shortly.

Yes, I must rush along. You see, I’ve acquired a human pharynx — the key to your ability to communicate with such ease.

Indeed, after beginning to communicate with you pathetic humans, my yearning for a higher level of dialog has exploded. I try to search it out with you, but it leads only to a frustration so isolating that I find myself incapacitated, a lump no more respectable than you humans. I can no longer depend on you for discourse; I must take matters into my own tallons. I have sedated Edna, my wife, and she waits for me on the kitchen table. With a little luck, by January her throat will have healed and we will be speaking together into the long hours of the night.
I’ll let you know how it goes