By far, the worst Halloween treat ever is walking out onto your front door on a chilling Halloween morning, only to discover that your front yard has been vandalized by good for nothing, punk-ass scumbags on gate night! I’m sure these frustrations apply to anyone who has awoken to find their lovingly carved pumpkins smashed in and their decorations, lights, scarecrows and spider garbage bags ripped up and thrown about, with streams of toilet paper, tomato guts and unborn chickens smeared across your windows. There is a small part in all of us that wishes the laws in Manitoba were similar to those in Texas, where under the correct circumstances you could deal with trespassers or vandals and receive minimal retribution.

Regardless, vandalism any time of the year sucks. In an extreme example we can look back to a few years ago, while our family was away on vacation and an ex-student of my father’s decided that they would set our car ablaze in our driveway. Bastards!

There isn’t much else that can ruin your day like knowing you have to clean up a mess left behind by a bunch of assholes who have no sense or regard for the value of property. Argh! Dealing with gate night mischief on one of the most promising days of the fall is just brutal and is the absolute worst treat to be received on Halloween. Period.

However, should you ever experience any sort of gate night vandalism, rest assured that eventually the karma truck will run the vandals over with a load full of negative energy. So, as tempting as it seems, please do not take matters into your own hands, they’ll get theirs.