Hey Kara,

I have been overweight my whole life, some times more so than others. I have done diets and gone the gym but, alas, the older I get the higher the number gets on the scale.

Several of my friends suddenly started dieting and managed to lose a lot of weight! I am so proud of them but at the same time it makes me feel worse than ever. I feel like by comparison I just come off as lazy. I’ve learned to keep my self-consciousness to myself when they are around because otherwise I get bombarded with comments like “you just have to eat better, try harder!” I’ve tried so hard, do I have to torture myself for the rest of my life??

All my family is overweight, so I feel like this is something I need to accept about myself. But it’s so hard to accept myself when people around me tell me that I can (and should) do better.

 

Signed Anonymous, (22)

 

Hey You,

I cannot stress this enough: everybody’s body is different. As long you are healthy your size really shouldn’t matter.

Taking care of yourself should not be torture. Diets aren’t forever, so I recommend making lifestyle changes instead. Ride your bike to work! Go on walks! Learning how to cook improved my own eating habits greatly.

Self-acceptance is key. It is hard and some days you will waver. If people pressure you to diet call them out on it! Tell them you accept your body the way it is and as your friend they should too.

I could write about this for ages, so instead I will direct you to some blogs/articles that may help you out: fuckyeahfatpositive.tumblr.com, redefiningbodyimage.tumblr.com, “Being Overweight Doesn’t Mean You’re Unhealthy!” by Benjamin C. Wedro on medicinenet.com. I also recommend the book FAT!SO? by Marilyn Wann.

Good luck on your journey to body acceptance.

 

Love, Kara

Ask Kara now has a tumblr so you can ask questions anonymously. To ask a question: go to askkara.tumblr.com or email askkara@themanitoban.com.