Point / Counterpoint is a platform in which two parties discuss pertinent cultural issues from opposing sides. It’s a real debate, and like any honest fight, there are winners and losers. This is the result:
Ryan:
In the age old debate between teenage angst and old person passivity, teenage angst should always win. This shouldn’t even be a competition; on one hand you’ve got youthful vigor and righteous passion, on the other you’ve got fart smells and the sorrow of resignation. Have you ever heard the saying that children are our future? Well those children grow up to be rebellious teens who fight the good fight against the tyranny of complacency.
Maria:
Come on — righteous passion or flailing hormones? What teen do you know that’s ever fought for anything more than a second bag of Cheetos? The beauty of old age is that crazed hormones have quieted down into a manageable hum, which lets some important sitting get done. I see less a “tyranny of complacency” and more of a sweet harvest of chill-ness reaped after years of toiling at “giving a shit.”
Ryan:
What teen has fought for more than a second bag of Cheetos? How about Joan of Arc? She had so much angst you could sink a ship with it. Without teenage angst there would be no one to speak out against fat cats, narcs or even “the man.” Let’s not forget, too, that most of the great artists in history were shaped by terrible, trauma-ridden childhoods chock-full of angst. Do you think Billy Ocean could have written “Caribbean Queen” without having first been shaped by teenage angst?
Maria:
Who needs to rag on narcs when it is perfectly lovely to walk to the post office or wait at a bus stop, or carefully count your change? What’s the big hurry? “Great art” is very nice, but so are watercolours; those things are mad pleasant.
Ryan:
You say watercolours and I say snotercolours. I don’t understand the appeal of passivity; angst means you get to yell and kick and stomp and fight. An added bonus is that you get to be ambivalent about everything! There are so many emotions boiling over you can end any conversation by saying “whatever, man!”
Maria:
You know who else stomps and fights? Fascists. Even a teen who doesn’t really get what that is knows that’s bad. Then there’s this: sweet recliners, butterscotch hard candy, wicked teapots, park benches!!! You couldn’t pry me from a park bench to go to a MurderMonster concert or whatever for a million pages of your bad angsty poetry.
Ryan:
I do like the idea of teapots and recliners. My feet hurt almost all the time. What about rocking out, though? Old person passivity simply does not rock out, does not head bang or mosh or do the pogo. How in the world do you derive enjoyment from life if you’re not howling at the moon like jacked-up monkey child?!
Maria:
While you may have to surrender the rocking out, gentler gifts swoop in to make howling seem like a big ruckus about nothing. There are catnaps, soft jazz and fuzzy slippers as footwear to adopt. Don’t fight it, just ease into it like the aforementioned recliner. There’s a great breakfast nook in the corner where you can watch the birdfeeder.
Ryan:
Dear lord, that is starting to sound tempting. You know, I haven’t really had a good night sleep in probably six years. I kind of like fuzzy slippers and soft jazz and, oh god, I could start wearing silk pajamas and smoking jackets!
I’m sold, you win. My knees hurt.
WINNER: Old person passivity
