As I go through life, it becomes more apparent to me how many men think they’re entitled to not only exerting power over female agency but also commenting on women’s looks and appearances. 

Microaggressions from men are a big thing that I think a lot of women experience on a day-to-day basis, so much so that we often tune them out at the expense of our own feelings and emotions.

Throughout high school and some of university, I was afraid to confront these microaggressions, especially coming from men, commenting on my writing, my appearance, my outfit choice and demeanour, with men often calling me “off-putting” or “too loud.”

Most men, by nature, seem entitled to not only assert power over women but also to control them because society will allow this under the pretext “boys will be boys.”

This need for men to control not only the female body but also female agency can be seen in romantic relationships, birth control, abortion, the workplace and academia. This need to control women comes from a deep-seated form of misogyny where men think they are entitled to take what they want, and I do not mean all men when I say this. I have met some lovely, kind, self-aware men who are nothing but rays of sunshine, but for every kind man I meet, there are another 10,000 whose egotistical entitlement bleeds through. 

Misogyny does not only live in the shadows — it exists as a living breathing thing that openly parades in the light of day. It is comments from your male co-worker, your friend’s boyfriend who decides you’re the problem for calling out his disrespectful behaviour, it’s the pattern of group projects where suddenly you’re doing all the work in your male dominated group because “you just know how to do things best.” 

Recently, I have adopted a no-nonsense approach to men, as if I woke up one day and decided enough was enough. I was no longer willing to play my part in the cycle of boosting men’s egos while compromising my own values. 

Have you ever heard of the term “gargoyle boyfriend?”

Well, let me ask you, have you ever had a friend bring their evil boyfriend to every function and then he sits in the corner like a gargoyle and makes absolutely no effort to get to know you while making rude comments? Well, I have. 

These forms of men, for me, are not only extremely annoying but also feed the cycle of misogyny. Why on earth would you come to a gathering where you’re just going to sit in the corner pouting? 

The recent Vogue article by Chanté Joseph titled “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” has been heavily weighing on my mind. Is having a boyfriend embarrassing? I’d like to counter that and say not always. 

Being in a relationship with a man isn’t always intrinsically embarrassing — it’s the self-abandonment that is embarrassing. In this era of self-love, authenticity and feminism, what is embarrassing is the knowledge that men are still disrespecting women publicly and privately, and women are still choosing to not only sign on to this but also defend these terrible men. 

I’d like to end this article by saying, do not bring your gargoyle boyfriend to our hangouts — leave him at home. I’m sure he can manage. I do not want to see a Joseph at the function sulking in the corner, making disrespectful comments and then thinking they’re funny — they’re not, they’re misogynistic.