Our relationships with others are the most important part of being human. I did not realize this until I was an adult. I enjoy writing, listening to music, learning new skills and numerous other hobbies or time wasters, but compared to the relationships I have with other people, they are meaningless.

The most important part of my life is my relationships with my friends, family and boyfriend. While I personally feel that romantic relationships are very powerful, there is no obligation to pursue romance exclusively. If you find comfort in friends and family but not a romantic partner, that is completely okay.

These kinds of relationships give meaning to human life, not just my own. Materialism, wealth, strong individualism and addiction to personal achievement are misdirected ways of finding meaning.

Now, enjoying a paycheque or the latest gadget does not mean you are failing at life, but pursuing those kinds of things instead of relationships will leave you empty. A big paycheque has never made me truly happy — though it is possible I just haven’t received one big enough yet. What has made me truly happy is the time I’ve spent with my mom and dad, my friends and especially the time spent with my boyfriend, Tyler.

These relationships give me a reason to keep moving forward and keep living. I simply cannot imagine any kind of future where I am alone, or a world in which I am happy without the company of others. Platonic, romantic and familial relationships are the most beautiful parts of my life.

I would argue, with some measure of certainty, that those who claim that money or success is what drives them are fooling themselves. Studies have found that life satisfaction is significantly connected to a sense of community and belonging. People have an inherent need — yes, need — to form bonds with each other, and a lack of these connections is correlated to physical and mental health problems.

Community ties are critical, and all communities are a network of relationships. If a network of relationships is critical to mental and physical well-being, then so are the relationships that make up that network. The fact of the matter is we cannot help but want to love each other.

In addition to the positive aspects of community and relationships there has also been research done on what happens when we lack relationships. Well-known sociologist Émile Durkheim found in his 1897 work Suicide that something as extreme as suicide is strongly correlated to a lack of integration in society. When we consider this, it puts things in perspective.

Regardless of who you are, you need others and there is nothing wrong with that. Love for others is the most beautiful part of being alive. If you focus your life on some kind of material gain or lone wolf mentality instead of relationships, you miss out on such a critical part of being human. If we have no one, then we have nothing.

This Valentine’s Day, and every day after, focus on what is important — friends, family, lovers,
coworkers and any other person blessed to know you. Do not let yourself become consumed by material wealth or some other measure of value that people convince themselves is critical to their self-worth. By being human, you are not only worthy of love but in need of love.