You are sitting in your cold, hard seat at Canad Inns Stadium. The Blue Bombers are down by less than seven points in the fourth quarter, and you feel the urge. No, not the urge to cheer louder, but the urge to pee.

You constantly tell yourself that if you go to the washrooms now you can miss the post-game line up, but your love for football, or your utter infatuation with the person next to you, is keeping you in your seat.

The time on the clock is not moving any faster and you decide to make the dash down the 50 flights of stairs and right into the washroom.

The first thing you notice is that it seems like the rest of the stadium decided to miss the post-game line up as well, which has now created a pre-post-game line up. You stand in line and finally make your way to that most feared piece of equipment in the men’s room: the trough.
Yes, not a urinal but rather a trough. The trough is a concrete mass about half a metre high and one metre deep. It has been around since you can remember, and your fear of it is still just as present as it was when you were seven.

There is something about the trough that is unlike any other contraption that you have peed in before. Normally when someone relieves themselves, they do so in private. However, when it comes to this monster, you are elbow to elbow with grandpa and the guy who drank a little too much.

Once you take your place in front of this relic, you loosen your belt and unzip your fly. But now you are faced with a dilemma, where to look? You don’t look to your right because that is where grandpa is and, as we all know, no one wants to see that.

You don’t look to your left because Mr. “One-Too-Many” may just pick a fight with you if your eyes meet. You don’t look down because, well, that’s just weird and you don’t look up because by the time your done you’ll have neck cramps. So you go with the safe bet and stare directly into the heart and soul of the wall.

You have now stood at the trough for about 30 seconds, willing yourself to go. Grandpa has since moved on and your semi-intoxicated neighbour has left the room, saying nothing about his poor aim. Now a father and son duo move into the open spaces next to you.

Being the loving father that this man is, he instructs his young son how to use the trough. The only problem with this scene is that daddy is speaking right overtop of you and his son speaks right back at him in the same manner. As their words cross over your “pee zone,” you cannot handle it anymore.

You do up your fly and find a stall.

Privacy, finally! Once again, loosen the belt, unzip the fly. Then you look down . . . Someone has decided not to flush. Lovely. On top of that, there is another person’s urine all over the floor, toilet seat and walls. You have moved from a lobby of public awkwardness to a private session of disgustingness.

The bright side is that you manage to finish your business and wash up before rejoining your lady friend, who promptly asks, “Where have you been?”
“It’s a long story,” you reply.

But see, these long stories don’t need to be all that long. For those of you who “choke at the bowl,” don’t worry. Lots of men (up to one million American men by some estimates) also suffer the same condition as you do. It is an anxiety disorder know as paruresis, a psychological state that the mind enters when trying to urinate while in the presence of others.
Don’t worry. It is possible to overcome.

Paruresis can be treated with a series of drugs that induce urination, the same way a laxative induces a bowel movement. There are also multiple therapy techniques available, but experts agree the best way to get over your fear of peeing in front of other people is to simply expose yourself to such situations and wait it out until you pee.

So the next time your tempted to move to the stall, wait it out. You never know, you may just pee.