“Let’s get some Lucky Lager and howl at the moon!”
– Brad Pitt as Early Grace in Kalifornia.

Yeah they call me Lucky, what the fuck is it to you? You think you know me? You don’t know shit, son.

See, I made it big on Vancouver Island, but I get respect all over: from Azusa, Kalifornia to Salt Lake City; Edmonton to Cumberland to fuckin’ Ontario; on every street corner, in every apartment block; behind every vendor and beneath every bridge; everybody knows me! It’s hard to say, but I think my boys from Clear Lake, Manitoba represent hardest. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, punk.

I work hard, and I play fuckin’ harder. I don’t got a lot of money to throw around, cuz I got fucking bills to pay. Got rent, got insurance — my truck’s in the impound; I got drinking tickets, child support, bad debts. But that don’t stop me from having a good time. So what if I got a bad back? Fuck you. When I get wild, it’s like a fucking bomb went off.

My world is a world of pain. But where there’s pain, there’s got to be pleasure. You ever shuffled your sorry ass down the road on duct-taped crutches in the wee hours of the morning to the bus stop, puking bile every block into the fresh fallen snow while commuters pass you by in their warm, new cars, only to get your stinking ass to work so you can pay your goddamn rent before eviction? I have. It sucks, bud. Big time.

Then again, you ever get so wild on a night that not a damn thing in the world can touch you and all the ladies can’t help but love you, even though you ain’t gonna do nothing but break their goddamn hearts? I have. It’s the bees motherfucking knees.

Sometimes you wake up in the morning and you feel like a steaming pile of shit that just got smashed up by a shovel, then run over by a semi. But then the sun comes out, and your work is done, and there ain’t a goddamn thing better to do then sit by some goddamn water and enjoy it! Out of the woodwork, out of their own worlds of pain, come your friends, and you sure as shit enjoy the good times together.

Life aint easy: motherfuckers die everyday. Me, I’m still here! That’s why they call me Lucky. Yeah, I’m Lucky, and you do not want to fuck with me.