I know it has been a while since we last talked and I am sorry that I have been rude and have been ignoring you lately. I hope that one day you will forgive me for this act against our friendship. However, while we were not talking, I have realized some very important things about myself. I have realized that, although we’ve gotten along well, there has been something missing. And, well, I am sorry to have to tell you in this way but, I don’t need you anymore.

I used to see you as more of a role model, as you have what seems to be an amazing life that looks neatly pulled together. But there is something unsettling about this — there seems to be something missing, something that has now put a barrier between you and me. I feel like you think you are better than me, and like I don’t even deserve to be around you at all, let alone in public. At first, this just hurt my feelings, but now it’s getting even more personal than that. Yes, your other friends look perfect all the time, but that really does not seem like everything to me. I have an interesting personality (sometimes I even have two personalities depending on which person I choose to speak in). My skin is not always flawless, sometimes my smile tends to fade, I get grumpy, and I don’t look great in little black dresses, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with me. Is a person’s personality worth so little these days?

Let’s start with these hips. You have always told me that there are plenty of ways I can get rid of them, short of just cutting them off. These hips, these curves, you don’t like them and you don’t appreciate them, but I do. These are my dancing hips, the hips that don’t lie — the hips that make your head spin as I take over the Latin dance floor, the hips that make the “hip grab” in swing dancing a lot easier and a little less awkward. Without these hips, what is there to love, and what would we do with the term “love handles?” Not that I am trying to “better” myself in saying these positive things about them. I am merely trying to point out the fact that I like them, they make me unique and they are useful. So please, leave me and my lavish hips alone.

Next there is my face. Though to you it is plain, to me it has character. My lazy eye really is not that big of a deal, as I can see fine out of it and its not like it’s hurting anyone or anything. And really can you even name one person who at one point in their life did not have at least one zit on their face? I can’t think of anyone, so don’t scrutinize me for it! You can tell me time and time again to put more make up on my face, to cover up this and that blemish, but your words now fall on deaf ears. I can finally tell you truthfully that when I look in the mirror, I see something beautiful and of value. How many of your friends can say they truly value their looks and even their originality.

I also think that you have a misunderstanding of the vast majority of men in our society. You say men like perfect women — I think and know otherwise. Out of the random seven guys I have talked to about this subject, only one of them was even on the fence about the idea of liking a girl that was purposefully toothpick thin and an all-around “perfect” woman. One of these guys touched on the idea that women who think they are perfect and act like they need to be that way all the time are just intimidating. Though each man has his own ideas on what makes a girl sexy, it is important for them to remember that a person will eventually get ugly, and all he will be left with is their personality. It’s a harsh realization, but smack yourself over the head with it, because it’s true.

In closing, it is unfortunate that I have to be so hard on you, after all these years of being dependant on your opinion. All I can really say to you is, to each their own. I am happy with the way I am and I no longer feel as if I need to better myself just so that I fit your standard. I like my curves and my imperfect face, and I am looking forward to meeting a man that likes me for me as well. That is all I have to say to you. I don’t owe you a thing. One of these days you will see the real effect you have on women, and it will then be you that is apologizing to us! Now, off you go, and smarten up, eat a burger and think about the messages you are sending people these days!

With a new sense of love,
Tanis