What I really learned in kindergarten
Research suggests early learning has a greater influence than we might think
Signy Holmes, Staff
When something doesn’t go our way, only the most level-headed among us can take it in stride. The rest of us have another way to deal with problems ranging from the annoying to the disastrous, a petulant phrase that will always see us through: “It’s not fair.”
The implication that the world should be run by someone-or-other according to the ideals of merit and sharing is an odd one that bears little resemblance to what we see around us on a daily basis. How did we ever come up with such a childish idea?
The answer, according to prominent Harvard psychologist Howard Gardner, is, naturally, as children. In Educating the Unschooled Mind, Gardner claims that when we are young, we develop ways of thinking that become so deeply ingrained and natural that they are rarely overcome in high school and university.
If this were the case, we would expect many of our society’s ideals to mimic those of a small child, perhaps one just starting their formal schooling. In other words, “everything I really need to know I learned in kindergarten” takes on a whole new meaning.
Put your maturity to the test
Of course, if you ask your average 5- or 6-year old about much of anything, you’re going to get two sets of answers: one telling you what they really think and one telling you what they think you want to hear.
It may seem cynical to suggest that someone as innocent as a kindergartner could already be brainwashed by societal norms, but a series of utterly serious interviews conducted with children just out of kindergarten seems to support the idea.
Chelsea* may have insisted, fingers nervously in her mouth, that she would never dream of running in the halls, whether or not someone was watching, but the moment the conversation turned to the fun of sliding in socks her story changed.
“I go running and sliding when we finished recess and I take my boots off!” she enthused, bouncing with glee.
Not everything is taken so lightly by these children. “Sharing” proves to be a sticking point, as only one child out of the 18 interviewees would admit to ever not sharing, and even he was quite dodgy about it.
“One time I didn’t share . . . I forgot,” he conceded. Somehow their stories don’t ring true, but their powers of insistence bode well for future careers in politics.
What these children do and say may seem irrelevant to us, but isn’t it true that you still feel awkward running down a hall or even indoors, no matter how empty it is or how much of a hurry you’re in? Isn’t the very idea of “it’s not fair” based on everybody getting an equal share? It’s scary how much of an impact the things drilled into you at an early age may continue to have.
If you still think that you’ve moved past those silly ideals thanks to your superior reasoning skills, perhaps you’d like to try a debate with a five-year-old. Topic: why should you share? Your opponents are Ethan and Austin, who hate “girlie stuff like pink” and love dinosaurs.
Ethan would like to begin by pointing out we should share what we have “so we’re nice and we get along and we’re friends.”
Austin acknowledges his esteemed colleague’s point, but would like to also note that if you don’t share, “people get real mad at each other and they fight, BAM BAM BAM!”
In conclusion? Austin would just like you to know that “[it’s] a good thing to share because it’s quite good and you always want to share.” Try arguing with that one.
The point is that there’s more than simple conditioning at work here: these kids aren’t just spewing back what they’ve been fed, and while they don’t express themselves quite the way we might, they can justify themselves quite nicely, thank you.
Obedience to authority
Such intelligent, wordy youngsters should be challenging authority and questioning the rules, but there is a widespread fear of getting in trouble that seems to hold them back.
What “getting in trouble” really means is less clear. Answers from the children ranged from “You gotta go to the principal,” to “I don’t remember.” What exactly the principal can do to you is also unknown, but unsubstantiated rumours suggest that it may involve pointy sticks and yelling.
Dylan’s imagination ran wild. “If you don’t listen you’ll get sent home, your Mom’ll say BAD BAD BAD and you’ll be grounded for 10 months,” he exclaimed while whacking himself vigourously on the head.
“I never break rules,” said Sarah, solemnly.
Alas, these youngsters are only human and, like the rest of us, can be guilty of saying one thing and doing another. Emma and Jacob had just finished explaining how a “very important rule is: no hitting, no kicking, no hurting, no punching,” when Emma decided it would be a good idea to bend Jacob’s finger backwards to get him to be quiet.
This was clearly against THE RULES, but Emma had an excellent defence: “I wouldn’t have done it if I was gonna get in trouble, but it’s okay [to do it now].”
One may see links between these kids — with their nebulous ideas of consequences and their willingness to break rules if they “won’t get caught” — and those who shoplift or car jack until they too are caught, much to their surprise. Certainly Gardner is not the only psychologist who suggests we don’t grow up as much as we think and the things we learn early on shape much of our lives.
Eric Knudsen, professor of neurobiology at Stanford University School of Medicine, has done research on owls that supports this theory. He has said that his research shows that “. . . changes in the brain that are induced by early experience result in a persistent effect.”
Knudsen has studied adaptation in owls of various ages, and he has found the brain really does learn things faster and more permanently at a younger age. Other research in language and learning has suggested that Knudsen’s work isn’t just for the birds and may apply to humans as well.
I don’t wanna grow up
If these scientists are right, children might be able to help us understand something we’ve had drilled firmly into us: the idea of saying you’re sorry. As children, it didn’t matter if we meant it or not — as long as we managed to stop giggling at the sheer genius of painting our little brother purple long enough to get the words out, we were free and clear.
The words “I’m sorry” are still brought out often as we get older, and not always sincerely. Cheat on your girlfriend? “I’m sorry.” Lose your friend’s CD? “I’m sorry.” It’s as all-purpose as “it’s not fair,” with the added advantage of getting results. Maybe no one cares if you feel cheated by the world, but apologies are often respected.
If you’ve ever struggled with a situation where an apology is expected but you just don’t mean it, young Ryan has a suggestion for you. Just say, “I’m sorry you got sad, but I didn’t do anything [wrong].”
Such sincere bluntness may not be respected by everyone; even as young children, most of us wouldn’t be that honest. Most kids said they would say “I’m sorry” whenever they hurt someone’s feelings or did something “bad.”
Moral reasoning and ethics are often thought to be beyond the scope of most children. When we struggle through a difficult decision, such as whether to report a co-worker and friend for stealing, we probably don’t expect a six-year-old to be able to deal with the same situation.
Emma shows that, here too, we would be wrong to think ourselves any further along than we were in kindergarten. When asked what she would do if she saw a friend take something from the teacher’s desk, she thought very seriously before answering.
“I’d tell them, ‘You shouldn’t keep it, that’s [the teacher’s].’ They have to put it back ’cause I saw [them],” she finally said. No tattling, no keeping a secret. Ann Landers would have been hard pressed to come up with a better suggestion.
We can’t be sure whether these children are shockingly mature or we’ve simply failed to progress since our kindergarten days. If you’re thinking the former, you should consider Mia’s list of rules for the classroom, which include “no pulling your boogers,” “no putting your shoe in your mouth,” and “if you put a marker in somebody’s mouth don’t put in thousands and thousands [or] they choke! Uggle uggle ugh!”
When you get down to it, these are just kids, same as we were — we may never really grow up, but there are worse things that could happen. Kindergarten was a glorious time, and if part of my brain refuses to leave, that’s fine with me.
*Editor’s note: the Manitoban has altered the names of the first-grade students to protect them from prosecution for booger- and finger bending-related no-no’s encountered in the making of this article.
