The culture of the Bison tribes

The life of a Bison athlete exposed

Lindsay “Poggs” Poggemiller

As the sun sets on my university athletic career, as it does outside the 15-passenger van window headed for Brandon, I reflect back on some of the team road trips of the past. There’s something about being on the road that gels a team together. Teams are like nomadic tribes with our own subculture — including language, ceremonial traditions, rites of passage and techniques of survival, some of which may seem strange, even a little unreasonable to the outsider. But to those that play team sports, its just part of the life of an athlete.

Rites of passage and your tribal name

When you join a team, you immediately receive a prescribed status. It is usually based on two things: your year on the team and your skill level. Duties and privileges are distributed accordingly. A rookie can expect consistent embarrassment and extra work, more so on the guys’ teams than women’s teams. It’s a way of saying, “hey, welcome to the team . . . now carry the med-kit, fill up the water bottles, wash the jerseys, go last in every line, get the last choice of jersey number, sleep on a cot or maybe the floor on road trips and pretty much do everything the rest of us have been here too long to have to do anymore.” One is rarely excused from these rites of passage no matter how good you are, although an exception might be made for an unusually older transfer athlete.

Along with all the pleasantries of being initiated into a team, you are also given a name. You cannot choose your own nickname, nor can you negotiate it. It comes to you like a thief in the night and you have to embrace it. If it so happens, for whatever reason, you end up being a 210-pound hockey player named Schmoopie, you’re locked in. That’s your tribal name. It usually revolves around one of your actual names, however (Barnsie, JZ, Poggs, Harry, T-Froese), but it can have derived from a memory, something embarrassing you did, an idiosyncrasy, someone you look like, a physical feature, or nothing to do with you at all (Deuce, Turbo, Cheese, the Factor, the Wizard, Pipes, Arnold).

Roommates for the weekend

There’s undoubtedly that slightly uneasy moment of silence when the coach calls out the rooming lists. It’s inevitable: every team will have a sleep-talker, a snorer and someone who jerks around in their sleep, often bruising their bedmate. There are also the spooners and bed-hoggers, but they are less threatening to a good night’s sleep. Every one knows who these people are, including these people, because they are undoubtedly told in the morning after everyone in their room has taken turns throwing a pillow at them to get them to cease their annoying habits. There may also be some stinky kids on your team. They are labelled this for one or two reasons: either they stink because they refrain from showering, just spraying on the Axe or Body Shop spray, or their business in the hotel room bathroom lingers for hours and visiting other rooms becomes a necessity.

Hunting and gathering

If your hotel offers a continental breakfast, you always want to sport your winter jacket when you go down to eat. Even though you never leave the hotel, you need the extra pocket space to stow away the free food to save for as many meals as possible.

With minimal amounts of funds for food, hotel rooms have been turned into culinary kitchens. Coffee makers can be used for boiling water to make oatmeal and instant noodles, while the coffee pot itself can be used as a bowl. Some members of the team bring kettles and electric pots to make macaroni and cheese and other sauces. It’s not unusual to pack a can opener for canned fruit and soups. Legend has it that there was a volleyball team who used the iron in the hotel closet to make grilled cheese sandwiches.

Pastimes

In between morning practice and the evening game, there are a variety of activities. For girls, it’s homework and endless hours of TLC and any other variety of makeover shows. For guys, it’s movies, X-box, spontaneous dance parties and “mini” games — like mini-stick hockey or mini-volleyball. Damage to hotel rooms doesn’t come from a night after the bar; it’s from the pre-game warm-up.

Being a part of tribal community is not entirely unlike being part of a family. We all accept we are a nuisance at one time or another, but we’re tied together by that jersey we wear. Right from rookie to captain we are thankful for it, because someday when we get on with real life, we will have the survival skills and know-how to make it in this world.

“Poggs” would like to express thanks for the collaborative efforts of Jeff “JZ” Zylstra from men’s volleyball and Rob “Schmoopie” Smith of men’s hockey.