Bank robbing one solution to student debt
Try to remember not to steal, but if you are going to steal, here are some helpful hints
Aaron Levere, Staff
Stealing may be wrong, but it is also difficult. Getting around your own moral injunctions against theft is one thing, but learning the skills required to steal successfully is another. Some find it easier to justify spending money that isn’t theirs by taking money from those who have a lot of it. Robin Hood is celebrated for taking from the rich and giving to the poor. If you are poor, then stealing is just a way of eliminating the middle man.
There is an argument to be made that robbing a bank is not as ethically troublesome as shoplifting from your local corner store. Banks have obscene amounts of money and are continually making a profit from every kind of ethical and not-so ethical activity associated with economic growth. They are insured to the hilt for their losses. This means that insurance companies are making money from the existence of bank robbers, which is good for the economy and, therefore, ultimately good for banks.
Mom and Pop’s corner store, on the other hand, loses money every time someone pockets a Snickers, and these are the people who live in your neighbourhood, who will help you out when you are a dime short to buy some milk. Their kids are the ones who drew a chalk picture of a bunny kissing a ladybug on the sidewalk in front of your house, and that’s who you are stealing from, jerk.
Winnipeg leads the country in the robbery sector. There were 9,255 robberies in Manitoba last year. Roughly 7,000 of these were in Winnipeg and, statistically, 5% of all robberies are bank robberies. This means that last year there were around 350 bank robberies in Winnipeg.
Compare this with the number of times a blurb in the Sun reports on the arrest of a bank robber — usually by lightheartedly mentioning the dumb mistake that he made by signing his name to the note that he passed to the teller — and you start to get the impression that your odds of success are actually pretty good.
Interestingly, in Canada, only 3 out 10 bank robberies are committed using a gun, and only half of the robberies in 2004 used a weapon at all. Add it all up and it means that a significant number of people are getting away with robbing banks using nothing but a little forethought.
Understandably, this is not something that is widely publicized.
Information on how not to rob banks is a lot easier to find than instructions for robbing banks, but it can also be instructive. The main theme that recurs in every bank-job-gone-wrong story is a lack of planning.
Case the joint ahead of time. Look for exits. Figure out when the bank is least busy. An escape vehicle is a good idea, but plan your getaway route.
Banks have cameras — cover your face. People are most recognizable by their hair and upper face. Glasses and a hat or wig are the most subtle and effective disguise.
Do not rob your own bank, or even one in your neighbourhood. One bank robber was turned in by his mom, who recognized him at the scene of the crime.
Have somewhere to stash the money away from your home or anything directly associated with you (your car, workplace, friend’s house). Get rid of any clothes you were wearing during the robbery.
Aside from bad planning, getting caught is often just a matter of bad luck. This is not a line of work that has any kind of job security whatsoever. No one is saying that you should rob a bank, just that if you have never considered robbing a bank, it is always one of many options to be considered by you, the ambitious starving student trying to get ahead.
