Not wanting to pay hard-earned money to live under tighter restrictions than my parents imposed on me when I was 12, I decided to look for a roommate.
Roommate roulette
We all gamble sometime
Carson Jerema, Staff
In June I made what turned out to be a hideously stressful decision. I decided to find a place in which to live alone. I began my search by looking through the housing website provided through the university. In Winnipeg, where there is a shortage of affordable rental spaces, many homeowners, especially those close to the U of M, offer to rent out their basements.
These rooms tend to offer decent rent with several utilities included. But there is often a catch. The owner of one of the places I looked at said he ran his place like a bar, with no visitors allowed past 2 a.m. on the weekend, and midnight during the week. He also informed me that absolutely no sleepovers would be allowed.
At first I was a little taken aback. I mean, I’m a grown man, and I’m being told that I can’t have anyone over to spend the night. Frustrated and a little annoyed, I continued my search. It turns out that many homeowners in the area impose similar restrictions, possibly realizing that the high demand for rental space in the area would make it likely that someone would eventually take the room.
Not wanting to pay hard-earned money to live under tighter restrictions than my parents imposed on me when I was 12, I decided to look for a roommate. Now many of you, I suspect, know all too well that the unfortunate reality of choosing a roommate is the equivalent of going to Vegas and putting all your money on 17 in a game of roulette. Even if you’ve known the person for years, there is no guarantee that you’ll be compatible with them.
Living with others is always a challenge, but there are a few types that I believe make any living situation unbearable.
First, you’ve got your “clean types.” You know these people: they believe that your $200 a month apartment should look like Buckingham Palace at all times. Even if you are reasonably clean, they will nag you until you are as uptight as they are.
Next, there are the “messy types.” These degenerate slobs would be comfortable living in a landfill. You might leave the house in the morning in perfect order, but when you return in the afternoon you don’t recognize the place. Dishes are stacked on the floor because space ran out on the counter. Your roommate apparently decided that the floor would be a suitable place to put the dirty dishes that had been piling up in his room. When you go to the bathroom, there is hair everywhere, and no matter where else you go, the vile odour of rotten milk is so potent that you would rather sleep in the alley.
Then, there are the “bossy types.” Apparently, these people weren’t hugged enough as children and they have decided to take it out on their unfortunate partners when the bills need to be paid. They draw up a list of rules and nag everyone to follow them. But apparently, the rules don’t apply to them. I guess that makes sense; they are in charge, after all.
There is also my personal favourite, the “moochy types.” These people haven’t bought groceries in over a year and yet they always appear well-fed. Everything in the apartment or house is unsafe from these brats. Now they aren’t thieves, but dear lord, roommates shouldn’t have to double as parents, providing for these inconsiderate fools.
And finally, what is likely the most common form of roommate in the university’s residence — the “party types.” Now I’m not talking about people who enjoy a little too much beer on Friday nights.
Many of us have been there. It’s Wednesday night, you’re trying to get a good night sleep before an 8:30 exam. Suddenly, at 2:30 a.m., pounding music and loud screaming awakes you. Your roommate has arrived with 30 of his/her closest friends and enough beer to send three football teams into a drunken stupor.
At first, you’re annoyed, but resolve to go back to sleep, realizing it is pointless to stop the mayhem in your living room. Then suddenly your stumbling roommate comes into your room, angry at the discourtesy you showed him/her by not appreciating the fact that they brought the debauchery back so you could enjoy it, too.
It is nearly impossible to completely limit yourself from the threat that these predatory “types” pose. Many of them appear quite nice, friendly and ideal when you first meet them. They say you can use their CD player or that they have no problem cleaning up after themselves. Some of them even say that they like having roommates and look forward to living with you. To me, that means that they look forward to using my toothbrush, not flushing the toilet and allowing their significant other to tie up the phone line for three hours.
But the reality is that many of you will likely have little choice in avoiding the pain and anguish of having to live with someone. The alternative, unfortunately, is moving in with your mother.
